just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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