you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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