Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
