He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
