He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
