Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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