Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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