it was like his penis was on wheels.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize