Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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