this beer tastes like vomit already
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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