who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
