I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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