i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
