No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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