come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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