Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
