well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
