About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
