If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
