Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nut hugger
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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