Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
