summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
