all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize