If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
