I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
