Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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