oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
