I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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