just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
