she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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