yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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