you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
