the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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