True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
