Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
