hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
