i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize