don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
