I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
