It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
