I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
please don't ironically join a cult
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