hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
