I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
