If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My vagina is officially offended.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
