Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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