idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
