Welp...herpes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize