tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize