i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
