Don't you send me to vm
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
