i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
