Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
