Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
