I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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