life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
