are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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