That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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