JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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