just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
