I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
