I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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