My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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