Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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