I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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