I need help removing her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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